NON VEG MESSAGES & JOKES

non-veg-messages-images

Non Veg Messages are commonly popular in friend circles. Now days youth are share adult jokes and messages through mobile phones for greetings. ‘Sexy’ is the word used even for the beautiful looking and powerfully built electronic goods. Even a mobile phone and a laptop are called ‘sexy’ if they are good ones and this ‘once’ local dialect got its place into printable language soon. So people like to appreciate the sensuality and takes great pleasure when they get appreciation for their sensual appeal.

Non Veg Message: 01
Duty- if done with ur wife..
Art- if done with ur love..
Education- if done with a virgin..
Tution- if done with ur teacher..
Job- if done with your boss/secretary..
Science- if done with a fertile lady..
Business- if done with a prostitute..
Social work – if done with ur neighbour
Charity- if done with a widow
Sacrifice- if done with ur own hand

Non Veg Message: 02
Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name

Non Veg Message: 03
Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground floor.

Non Veg Message: 04
Aids awareness slogan:

Cover ur stump b4 u pump
dont b silly, protect ur jelly..
AIDS is no joke
wrap b4 u poke
dont be fool
condomize ur tool… 😉

Non Veg Message: 05
Biology teacher told all students to draw female reproductive organ.
One girl felt shy and looked down.
sardar boy shouted – mam she is copying.

Non Veg Message: 06
Lady 2 dentist: Dant nikalwane se to pregnent hona achha hai,
Dard to kam hota hai..

Destist: abhi soch lo kya karwana hai,
fir main chair usi hisab se set karu

Non Veg Message: 07
Nurse : khan saheb,mubarak ho,
aap ko judwa bete hue hain.
Khan : yeh to hona hi tha,
maine koshish jo dono taraf se ki thi

Non Veg Message: 08
Oscar nomination 4 blue films r :
1 : uatr k panti so gayi aunti,
2 : hasina k dudu me pasina,
3 : pati fouz mein to biwi mouz me,
4 : ghar me shali to puri raat diwali

Non Veg Message: 09
Condom says to whisper : buddy every months u stop my business for one week
Whisper says : ahh if u make a mistake one time, I’ll loose my business for 9 months…..

Non Veg Message: 10
In lift, mans elbow accidently touch lady’s breast.
man: if ur heart soft as ur breast ull forgive me.
lady: if ur cock s hard as ur elbow im in room 207.

Non Veg Message: 11
Calories burnt by sex:
Lying down: 90cal
Stnding up: 492cal
Dog style: 326cal
2nd round: 824cal
Dresing up after sex while WIFE knocks at the door: 50000 cal.

Non Veg Message: 12
A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector.
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed,
200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet

Non Veg Message: 13
Two prostitutes were talking:
We’re in the best business in the world
Why’s that then?
Well, we’ve got it, we sell it, and we’ve STILL got it!

Non Veg Message: 14
Wife to husband : ek Sand saal me 300 bar sex krta hai
Tum iska adha bhi nahi krte.
Pati : ye kaha likha ha ke wo 300 bar ek hi cow ke sath krta hai

Non Veg Message: 15
UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable
Nor
Boys are comfortable. !!

Non Veg Message: 16
Q. Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata he?
A. Jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye aur uski maa kahe,
HE BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA.

Non Veg Message: 17
Galib sahab par ek ladki ne peshab kar diya.
Galib :aye chanchal shokh hassena ye kaisi nadani hai?
Grl:Aap jis jheel se nikle hain,ye usi jheel ka pani hain

Non Veg Message: 18
A girl goes 2 doctor n says-Doctor mere niche 1 ched aur kar do.
Doctor asked: why?
Girl : business aacha chal raha hai soch rahi hu ek branch aur khol loon.

Non Veg Message: 19
LadyTeacher: Write a sentence ending with hand.
Banta: My penis in ur hand. Teacher slapped Banta.
Santa: Sorry mam, I forgot to put space betwn PEN IS.

Non Veg Message: 20
Ek kunwari ladki ki petme baccha aa gaya..
Uski baap : ye kiska hain?
Ladki : papa miss call to sab hi marta tha..
pata nahi kiska receive ho gaya..!

Non Veg Message: 21
Sardar:Will U Marry me?
Girl:Sorry I’m a Lesbian.
Sardar:”Whats Lesbian?”
Girl:”I have Sex only with Girls”.
Sardar:”Maar Taali I’m also Lesbian”

Non Veg Message: 22
Boy Ladki ke Saamne Pant utarkar bola-
Kya tumhare paas aisa hai?


Girl panti utarkar boli-
jinke paas aisi hoti hai unke paas inki koi kami nahi hoti.

Non Veg Message: 23
Little Boy: Dad How Was I Born? Dad: Well, Son Ur Mom & I Got Together at “Yahoo”. We Set up A Date Via E-Mail & Met In Cyber Cafe Ur Mom Agreed To “Download….. Data” From My “Pen Drive”. Just When I Was About to “Transfer”, We Realised That Non Of Us Had “Installed” A “Firewall” It Was Too Late To hit “Delete….. Nine Months Later A “Pop-up Window” Appeared Saying”You Have Got A Male” ….

Non Veg Message: 24
Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se!
Best Of Luck.

Non Veg Message: 25
Lady in bus: aapka kuchh touch ho raha hai.
Man: Oh, wo meri salary hai pocket mein.
Lady: OYE! TERI SALARY 5 MINUTES MEIN 3 GUNA BADH GAYEE?!?

Non Veg Message: 26
Ek bar girls hostel me ladkiya cycle chalate hue bahut shor macha rahi thi,Tabhi WARDEN ayi aur boli “shor kam machao nahi to cycle ki seat wapis lagwa Dungi.

Non Veg Message: 27
Conductor : baccha ko ticket?
Rajsthani lady :- iko bhi lagego ke ? yo tho abaar bobo chuse hai.
Conductor:- bobo tho iko baap bhi chuse hai.
To uke bhi free me bitha lu

Non Veg Message: 28
Girls hostel me phone aaya- meena hai kya ?
Warden ne pucha-piche kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya-ab tho pata nahi pehle sarson ka tel lagati thi

Non Veg Message: 29
Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
Taiyar ho jati hai.

Non Veg Message: 30
Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha “kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?”
Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalate the aaj se life time karwa liya.

Non Veg Message: 31
Sex ke baad aurat aadmi se boli : “tumari bansuri bahut he choti hai”, Aadmi ne bola “mujhe thodi pata tha ke, town-hall mein bajani hai”

Non Veg Message: 32
Lady shoes dikhaiye. Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ? Lady � 36 no. Shopkeeper :- shoes kya boobs pe lagani hain?

Non Veg Message: 33
A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son, but they dont know proper word to print, so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS

Non Veg Message: 34
Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)

Non Veg Message: 35
What’s an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy�s pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive

Non Veg Message: 36
Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can�t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

Non Veg Message: 37
Fair & lovely ke ad me face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad me hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad me baal dikhaye
Phir whisper ke ad mein cheating kyun?

Non Veg Message: 38
2 men went 2 a callgirl. 1st went in and came out n said “Na my wife is better.” 2nd went in and came out n said “U R right ur wife is much better.”

Non Veg Message: 39
Boy: what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6″ long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?
Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words
Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

Non Veg Message: 40
Niple niple little star
can i suck you in my car
up above the breast so high
always milky never dry
let me touch it never shy
in the bra it will be dry

Non Veg Message: 41
He took me from a bar
He took me in his car
He took my top off
He puts his lips on mine, but don�t worry:
I’m a bottle of wine!

Non Veg Message: 42
Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife�s underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?

Non Veg Message: 42
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!

Non Veg Message: 43
The most difficult golf course in the world is.. “Women Hole” any style you play.. as many shots you try.. & as much perfection you have.. you can never get your balls in..!!!

Non Veg Message: 44
How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.

Non Veg Message: 45
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub
tease pamper console worship respect & love.
HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job

Non Veg Message: 46
A teacher asked “what part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replied “feet”
coz every night I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming
GOD I’M CUMIN!

Non Veg Message: 47
Sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temptation,
putting his location in a
woman’s destination.
Do you understand the explanation or do you need a

demonstration? 😉

Non Veg Message: 48
Baccha (looking at breast): Maa ye kya hai?
Maa : Ballon baccha
Baccha : aapke itne chote aur kamwali k itne bade kyun?
Maa : Tune kab dekha?
Baccha : Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.

Non Veg Message: 49
Judge : as you are the key witness,can u tell me the exact place,wheere this man raped ur wife? Sardar : Lifted sardarni”s saree and said,here my lord.

Non Veg Message: 50
Fiza remix song – Maha bub mere maha bub mere,teri bistar pe mujhe sone de,bahut dudh ( . )( . ) hai tere siney mein,mujhe daba daba k pine de.

Non Veg Message: 51
Sambha – sardar thakur ka kya karna hai?
Gabbar – kuch neh uska haat kaa tdo aur roz 3 blue film dikhao,
woh khud tadap tadap k mar jaye ga.

Non Veg Message: 52
Gandhiji never had underwear under his dhoti,
Do u know y?Becoz he believed in ” FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT”

Non Veg Message: 53
A man busy having sex. Son – dad kya kaar rahe ho?
Dad – mummy k tank mein patrol bhar raha hoon
Son – Fuel meter check karke dalo,dopaher me hi uncle tank full kar k gaya.

Non Veg Message: 54
Girl – mom tom asked me to climb the tree.
Mom u fool, he wanted to see ur panty.
Girl – i knew so i removed my panty before climbing.

Non Veg Message: 55
Q – What is the difference between hook in cricket and of bra?
A – One sends ball out of the boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.

Non Veg Message: 56
A man to shopkeeper: ek white color ka condom de na
Shopkeeper: white hi kyo?
Man: padosan ka pati mar gaya hai afsos karne jana hai

Non Veg Message: 57
Maa ne apni beti se poocha, “How your married life is going on?”
Beti ne sharmate huye kaha,
“It was just like the advertisement of British airways”
Jab mother ne advertisement dekhi to woh shock ho gayi
7 days a week, twice a day, both ways.

Non Veg Message: 58
Q. Bhagwan kab khus ho jate hain
A. Jab koi ladki rape ho rahi ho or o chikhti hain,
plz bhagwan ke liye chhod do..

Non Veg Message: 59
Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board.
Lady teacher rubs it off.
Next day he draws a bigger one & writes:
‘jitna ragdogi utna bada hoga…’

Non Veg Message: 60
Ratan(tata) bole- dekhun didi ei j amar nano, didi bole bhalo tobe eto choto keno? Ratan bole choto holeo ache darun dom, Didi bole chepe dekhbo sotti kirokom.

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